Proverbs 25:6-7 and Psalm 112 * Hebrews 13:1-8, 15-16 * Luke 14:1, 7-14

In recent years many people have criticised the decline of etiquette and manners in our world. To some of us, it seems that society has grown accustomed to things that would have been considered incredibly rude only a decade or so before. 

But what about a hundred years before? Let’s see how you measure up to our ancestors from the Victorian era as we hear from The Gentlemen’s Book of Etiquette and Manual of Politeness, published in 1874.

1) Remove Your Gloves

“At the time of taking refreshment, of course, they must be taken off. No well-educated person would eat in gloves.”

2) Don’t Eat Too Much or Too Little

“Be careful to avoid the extremes of gluttony or over daintiness at table. To eat enormously is disgusting; but if you eat too sparingly, your host may think that you despise his fare.”

3) Eat and Drink Quietly

“It is decidedly vulgar to make a noise, either in taking the food into the mouth, in its mastication, or in swallowing.”

4) Don’t Chew with Your Mouth Open

“Do not fill your mouth so full that you cannot answer if you are addressed; nor open your mouth so wide during the process of chewing that your opposite neighbour may see the semi-chewed viands, which, if she be a delicate lady, might destroy her appetite altogether.”

5) Don’t Abstain from Taking the Last Piece

“Avoid also, that most vulgar habit which prevails among half-bred country people, of abstaining from taking the last piece on a dish. It amounts almost to an insult toward your host, to do anything which shows that you fear that the vacancy cannot be supplied and that there is likely to be a scarcity.”

Now, I haven’t asked you to raise or lower your hands to demonstrate just how polite you are when eating a meal. And that’s because today I want to talk about a different kind of table etiquette – a kind that comes from a significantly higher authority than The Gentlemen’s Book of Etiquette and Manual of Politeness.

Someone once said that in the gospel according to Luke you can always find Jesus doing one of three things. Either on his way to a meal, in the middle of a meal, or just leaving a meal, – maybe that’s why it is my favourite of the four gospels!

And that is certainly true in the passage we have heard this morning. Jesus had been invited to the home of one of the leading Pharisees, but it wasn’t just your average social occasion. The passage shares the real reason for the invitation – they were watching Jesus closely.

This group of Pharisees and religious scholars probably wanted to give Jesus a very thorough test, but in a surprising twist, the only observations made at the table came from Jesus himself, as he began to comment on their table manners. You see, the religious and social culture of that day had very strict and well-developed lists of social rules for eating together, and there were an incredible number of do’s and don’ts. The way you interacted in these settings was very much tied to your social standing and your place in society. The place where you sat at the table was incredibly important and determined your social rank, so we may not be surprised to find that as they sat down to eat, there was a great deal of jockeying for position.

Lest you think we today are above this kind of behaviour, and social ranking has nothing to do with seating, just think about the last formal meeting you attended or saw on TV. Think of a wedding where the bride and groom are seated at the top table. Or maybe the King, an MP, or somebody else important was present at a state banquet. They would likely have been seated in the place of honour so that they could see everyone and everyone could see them. Certainly there are echoes of what is happening at the house of this pharisee.

Jesus noticed how the people put in a great deal of effort as they jostled for position at the table, so he began to teach through a parable. He told the people gathering around the table the best way to go about choosing a seat. “If you’re invited to a banquet, don’t simply sit in the place of honour. You just might not be the most honoured person there, and it will be incredibly humiliating when your host asks you to give up your seat and you have to traipse back down to the end of the table…” Instead, Jesus says, “Sit at the least honourable place, so that your host can invite you to the higher place. Then you’ll receive a great honour.”

Now what happened next is what is most surprising, because Jesus doesn’t stop with what may have been accepted as reasonable and practical advice. Instead, he challenged the very notion of what honour and privilege were all about as he turned to look at the host and challenged the practical wisdom and etiquette of the day.

Meals like this one were not just occasions to gather, eat, and talk; they were occasions to build your own reputation and make connections. Gifts, such as an invitation to a meal, weren’t free but were tied to obligations to those who accepted the invitation. If you gave out an invitation, you expected to receive one in return. In a way, these dinner invitations were a lot like political rallies. You’re invited to attend, but there are expectations that are tied to the invitation. But Jesus turned this on its head when he said, “When you have a big meal, don’t invite all the people you’d normally think of inviting, just because they can invite you in return and pay you back. Instead, when you throw a party, invite the poor, those who are lame, those who are blind, because they can’t repay you. And in the end, you’ll receive your reward, not from them, but at the resurrection of the righteous.”

Jesus gives to them, and us, a completely different kind of table etiquette. In those days, common wisdom and social etiquette said jockey for position. Jesus said God’s etiquette calls for something completely different – all who exalt themselves will be humbled and those who humble themselves will be exalted. 

In those days, common wisdom and social etiquette was to invite those who can give in return. Jesus said that God’s etiquette reminds us to invite the very least: the poor, the most vulnerable. And when we show generosity to those who can never give in return, Jesus says that we’ll find out something incredible. We won’t be repaid in the usual way, but we’ll be repaid by the very God who created every man, woman, and child. God himself will be the one who gives in return for those who are unable.

Jesus shows us that God’s table etiquette operates with an entirely different way of looking at the world, and I believe that is directly connected with our celebration of Holy Communion Sunday by Sunday. At God’s table, everyone is welcome. Your income bracket doesn’t matter, Your age or ethnicity is no barrier, your state of mind, physical ability, sexuality, intellectual ability, position in society – all those things that we use to promote division – do not matter.

As we approach Christ’s table today, we stand shoulder to shoulder with people from all walks of life across the world. Because around that table, we all receive the very same grace, love, and forgiveness that only God can give. 

Kneeling at the feet of Jesus Christ, we are all loved, we are all cared for, and we have all been offered the same gift of forgiveness and Salvation. 

And so as you prepare your heart and mind for communion today, pray that God will give you the grace to practice the kind of etiquette we learn at God’s table outside these walls in your daily lives.

Amen